I come to the page in this moment - prompted to write today, thinking that perhaps if I pick up one item from a pile of all kinds of notebooks and papers, that still remains form the "Paper Throwing Party" I held towards the end of February, that I might get a sense of direction as to where to actually begin to get myself writing. It is not that I don't have lots of material, it feels more like I have too much, or rather to many incomplete bits and pieces of writing, that need to be dug through. There has been a challenge recently with an older piece of writing, one I have held onto with the idea of it really becoming my first completed work. However in coming back to it now, I just don't have a sense of where it really wants to go, or where it fits into the integration of everything, and yet it feels important.
So I decide to pick up a random notebook from the pile and I have to laugh with what I was guided to pick up, which turns out to be a few journal entries from the middle of 2009. It is significant in many ways, as to where I am right now, and this questFULL journey that is happening with my writing once again. ...Part of the entry on 6/03/09 - "I don't think I have ever written in detail the vision of my life. In this moment in my life I see the great need to create a vision of where I want to go - to not just dream about who I am and what I can/want to do but to actually move forward into doing it. ...I feel directed over and over again to write, but I am not seeing how to go about it or get anywhere with it." ...and, "Over the years a lot of thought has been put into this place." Talking about the vision I had in coming to the Big Island, about the Bridge of Dreams concept, and the drawing I created of this 'place' before I arrived, all with the intention of getting here and making it happen!
I go on, "What I see is that everything takes constant effort to really breakthrough and that if I get caught up in doing a little of this and a little of that, I just feel like I am going in circles and not getting anywhere. That's why I feel more than ever that I need to write down a detailed vision of my life, so I can make better decisions of all the things I should do." All of this, which was titled at the time - "Planning/Creating The Path" is directly related to how it leads up to today, not only to, the "older piece of writing" where it started, but it also where it is that my journey really began, the way it has gotten me to where I am right now, on the path of writing and building the vision of my dreams by connecting to my heart once more. So it all feels very significant and humorous in many ways too.
Other than the key points which I am typing here, the rest from those old entries is no longer needed, and it becomes one more step in the 'digging and clearing' process of my journey today. The next entry on 7/03/09, "It is very interesting that when I went to retrieve this notebook - thinking it was empty - to use it to write down the vision for my book, I discovered some amazing things." I then had highlighted, in numerical order points from the previous entry, starting with the title, as mentioned, and feeling that the next entries are relevant to my journey right now. "14. The question - Where is it that I am trying to go? The thought - I NEED A MAP!!! 15. I need to see: A) Where I am on the map right now. B) Where I want to go C)I can't be complacent anymore."
The next part gets much more serious and is all written in capital letters in the journal and so I will write it that way here...
"18. *SETTING A GOAL - A FOCUS. *CREATING BALANCE. *TIME AND ENERGY TO DO EVERYTHING. *SPIRITUAL LIFE *BY CONNECTING MY HEART TO GOD, I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE OPPORTUNITIES AND CREATE DOORWAYS. 22. Writing down goals and creating a weekly plan is important. 24. Everything has to work together - a rhythm created - needs to be there."
On June 5th, 2009, I took an online test which stated - "A 5 min. test just might change your life." On June 8th, I set up a coaching call and decided to pay for further coaching and a CD course. And then in my journaling I go into writing down some of the key points from the course; The Strangest Secret - "We become what we think about." People with goals succeed because they know where they are going. Stop thinking about what you fear - replace it with your worthwhile goal. Don't be concerned with how, just know where you are going. Ask and it shall be given, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door shall be opened to you. WE NEED A MAP - A DIRECTION TO GO IN. Decide what you want - picture it as if you have already reached that goal. PLANT THE SEED OF THE GOAL IN YOUR MIND. We are guided by our mind, we must control our thinking, and keep faith in our purpose or direction - believe and succeed. YOU ARE IN THIS MOMENT STANDING RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR OWN "Acres of Diamonds."
...AWE-HA, I think as I type this here now, 'so that is where the Map Story that I am having a challenging time to engage with came from.' I also find it interesting to note that at this time I am in a group called, "Mapping and Mentoring with Marney," which has to do with mapping out inspired steps, or what I have come to look at as, "Soul-Setting" rather than goal setting in order to create the step by step actions to take me where I want to go. Which again points to getting clear on what the vision of my life is, and which I spent a good deal of this morning being in a creative mapping journey with.
Going back to my journaling notes from my first coaching session on June 17th, 2009...
1) Our programing creates our belief systems, which creates our attitude, which creates our feelings, which creates our actions. WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT.
2) KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY
3) BE SO ALIVE, SO AWAKE TO NOTICE WHAT IS SHIFTING - WHAT IS CHANGING.
4) Do away with the word 'how' and replace it with 'what.' I WONDER WHAT...? Use imagination and creativity to think of things I can do.
5) BE EXPECTING THINGS TO HAPPEN - NEW PEOPLE - NEW DOORWAYS.
6) OPEN YOUR MIND TO ALL THE POSSIBILITIES - ALL THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE THAT WILL BE PART OF COMPLETING THE BIG PICTURE.
7) DELETE THE NEGATIVE CHATTER!
A few days later I began to feel on overload, too many notebooks, too many journals, too much of everything - and stating; "CLEARLY SOMETHING HAS GOT TO CHANGE HERE!"
It is ironic in so many ways to come back here to this journal writing again today, almost five years later and finding myself just beginning to see my footsteps for the change that truly does need to happen! Realizing more and more and more, that I am still on the same journey, sometimes finding myself inside of the maze, sometimes in the flow of the labyrinth. Clearly it is not a coincidence that out of all of the papers and notebooks in that pile, this is the one that I picked up, and how it truly is about digging for the diamonds, which I stand in the midst of, and maybe for the first time recognizing their existence.
The bigger statement of all of this is about seeing the vision and then simply putting the pieces of the puzzle together, in a fun, consistent and easy way. However along with the journey of crossing the bridge and building the picture of my dreams, there is still the inner work, the spiritual aspects of who I am and seeing myself form that higher perspective. That is the real bigness that I am seeking to uncover - the diamond within me - as I uncover layer by layer the jewel inside, to truly discover what is beneath the surface. "There is always more than meets the eye."
Although none of the journal entries came to clearly name which book I was referring to, in so many ways, it still leads me back to the Map Story that was written in quite an inspired way in 2009. Even though it got put way, way, way on the back burner through a series of life events, it here it is finding me again amongst the diamonds I stand within. And it is here in this journaling where I am hearing myself ask once again, perhaps now with a more inspired perspective and a much clearer purpose - "What is this vision that I hold in my heart? Why do I want to write, and why do I want to build Mother Earth Heart Wisdom School? And - Who am I beyond all of the illusions of who I thought I needed to be?"
In all of the mapping that I did this morning, here I am at the end of the day writing about the journey of it all. And without going into the details of the whole process of the WHYnd Mapping experience, I am certain that where it lead me to was this moment of looking more deeply into the heart of the matter, or more specifically the heart of me. At the end of each day it is always about the the joy of the journey, connecting to the happiness of being alive and feeing a humble gratitude for the precious diamond within.
So I decide to pick up a random notebook from the pile and I have to laugh with what I was guided to pick up, which turns out to be a few journal entries from the middle of 2009. It is significant in many ways, as to where I am right now, and this questFULL journey that is happening with my writing once again. ...Part of the entry on 6/03/09 - "I don't think I have ever written in detail the vision of my life. In this moment in my life I see the great need to create a vision of where I want to go - to not just dream about who I am and what I can/want to do but to actually move forward into doing it. ...I feel directed over and over again to write, but I am not seeing how to go about it or get anywhere with it." ...and, "Over the years a lot of thought has been put into this place." Talking about the vision I had in coming to the Big Island, about the Bridge of Dreams concept, and the drawing I created of this 'place' before I arrived, all with the intention of getting here and making it happen!
I go on, "What I see is that everything takes constant effort to really breakthrough and that if I get caught up in doing a little of this and a little of that, I just feel like I am going in circles and not getting anywhere. That's why I feel more than ever that I need to write down a detailed vision of my life, so I can make better decisions of all the things I should do." All of this, which was titled at the time - "Planning/Creating The Path" is directly related to how it leads up to today, not only to, the "older piece of writing" where it started, but it also where it is that my journey really began, the way it has gotten me to where I am right now, on the path of writing and building the vision of my dreams by connecting to my heart once more. So it all feels very significant and humorous in many ways too.
Other than the key points which I am typing here, the rest from those old entries is no longer needed, and it becomes one more step in the 'digging and clearing' process of my journey today. The next entry on 7/03/09, "It is very interesting that when I went to retrieve this notebook - thinking it was empty - to use it to write down the vision for my book, I discovered some amazing things." I then had highlighted, in numerical order points from the previous entry, starting with the title, as mentioned, and feeling that the next entries are relevant to my journey right now. "14. The question - Where is it that I am trying to go? The thought - I NEED A MAP!!! 15. I need to see: A) Where I am on the map right now. B) Where I want to go C)I can't be complacent anymore."
The next part gets much more serious and is all written in capital letters in the journal and so I will write it that way here...
"18. *SETTING A GOAL - A FOCUS. *CREATING BALANCE. *TIME AND ENERGY TO DO EVERYTHING. *SPIRITUAL LIFE *BY CONNECTING MY HEART TO GOD, I WILL BE ABLE TO SEE OPPORTUNITIES AND CREATE DOORWAYS. 22. Writing down goals and creating a weekly plan is important. 24. Everything has to work together - a rhythm created - needs to be there."
On June 5th, 2009, I took an online test which stated - "A 5 min. test just might change your life." On June 8th, I set up a coaching call and decided to pay for further coaching and a CD course. And then in my journaling I go into writing down some of the key points from the course; The Strangest Secret - "We become what we think about." People with goals succeed because they know where they are going. Stop thinking about what you fear - replace it with your worthwhile goal. Don't be concerned with how, just know where you are going. Ask and it shall be given, Seek and you will find, Knock and the door shall be opened to you. WE NEED A MAP - A DIRECTION TO GO IN. Decide what you want - picture it as if you have already reached that goal. PLANT THE SEED OF THE GOAL IN YOUR MIND. We are guided by our mind, we must control our thinking, and keep faith in our purpose or direction - believe and succeed. YOU ARE IN THIS MOMENT STANDING RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF YOUR OWN "Acres of Diamonds."
...AWE-HA, I think as I type this here now, 'so that is where the Map Story that I am having a challenging time to engage with came from.' I also find it interesting to note that at this time I am in a group called, "Mapping and Mentoring with Marney," which has to do with mapping out inspired steps, or what I have come to look at as, "Soul-Setting" rather than goal setting in order to create the step by step actions to take me where I want to go. Which again points to getting clear on what the vision of my life is, and which I spent a good deal of this morning being in a creative mapping journey with.
Going back to my journaling notes from my first coaching session on June 17th, 2009...
1) Our programing creates our belief systems, which creates our attitude, which creates our feelings, which creates our actions. WE BECOME WHAT WE THINK ABOUT.
2) KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY
3) BE SO ALIVE, SO AWAKE TO NOTICE WHAT IS SHIFTING - WHAT IS CHANGING.
4) Do away with the word 'how' and replace it with 'what.' I WONDER WHAT...? Use imagination and creativity to think of things I can do.
5) BE EXPECTING THINGS TO HAPPEN - NEW PEOPLE - NEW DOORWAYS.
6) OPEN YOUR MIND TO ALL THE POSSIBILITIES - ALL THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE THAT WILL BE PART OF COMPLETING THE BIG PICTURE.
7) DELETE THE NEGATIVE CHATTER!
A few days later I began to feel on overload, too many notebooks, too many journals, too much of everything - and stating; "CLEARLY SOMETHING HAS GOT TO CHANGE HERE!"
It is ironic in so many ways to come back here to this journal writing again today, almost five years later and finding myself just beginning to see my footsteps for the change that truly does need to happen! Realizing more and more and more, that I am still on the same journey, sometimes finding myself inside of the maze, sometimes in the flow of the labyrinth. Clearly it is not a coincidence that out of all of the papers and notebooks in that pile, this is the one that I picked up, and how it truly is about digging for the diamonds, which I stand in the midst of, and maybe for the first time recognizing their existence.
The bigger statement of all of this is about seeing the vision and then simply putting the pieces of the puzzle together, in a fun, consistent and easy way. However along with the journey of crossing the bridge and building the picture of my dreams, there is still the inner work, the spiritual aspects of who I am and seeing myself form that higher perspective. That is the real bigness that I am seeking to uncover - the diamond within me - as I uncover layer by layer the jewel inside, to truly discover what is beneath the surface. "There is always more than meets the eye."
Although none of the journal entries came to clearly name which book I was referring to, in so many ways, it still leads me back to the Map Story that was written in quite an inspired way in 2009. Even though it got put way, way, way on the back burner through a series of life events, it here it is finding me again amongst the diamonds I stand within. And it is here in this journaling where I am hearing myself ask once again, perhaps now with a more inspired perspective and a much clearer purpose - "What is this vision that I hold in my heart? Why do I want to write, and why do I want to build Mother Earth Heart Wisdom School? And - Who am I beyond all of the illusions of who I thought I needed to be?"
In all of the mapping that I did this morning, here I am at the end of the day writing about the journey of it all. And without going into the details of the whole process of the WHYnd Mapping experience, I am certain that where it lead me to was this moment of looking more deeply into the heart of the matter, or more specifically the heart of me. At the end of each day it is always about the the joy of the journey, connecting to the happiness of being alive and feeing a humble gratitude for the precious diamond within.