As my journey continues to evolve - evoLOVINGly I find myself being held deep in the center of spiraling movement, simply allowing what is emerging to come bubbling up to the surface like magical air being breathed through me. In this phase of the lunar cycle the message is to "Let go of confusion, doubt, fears, and illusions. Contemplate your dreams. Rely on your impression and intuition" (zodiac arts.com). Although I don't remember my dream from last night exactly, I remember the feeling I had when someone tried to take over my journey, tried to interfere with what I wanted to do, and how this had distracted me from my intention or more specifically my heart's desire.
In this moment I am learning to listen to my heart once more and beginning to really notice what is or what isn't supporting that opening and expansion. Sometimes it is my own thoughts contracting me, sometimes it is the thoughts of others in my head or in my dreams...hahaha. In any case , the awareness of where I am in expansion and where I am in contraction is what I am looking at, not necessarily where it came from. When I am the vibration of feeling myself opening and expanding, creating the habit of happiness, with gratitude and the expectation for that continued expansion, I can see I am being held by what I really truly desire, from deep inside my heart, not from the more outer focus of my head. I have found that it becomes about trusting what I don't know, in order to really open up to my heart - to hear what is softly being whispered, the song being sung, in between the notes. As I let go more of what I think I know, and/or of who I think I need to be, I find who I already am waiting patiently ready to play, laugh, sing and dance with joyFULL magic.
This morning for example, I woke up musing about being write here - write now, and yes I meant to WRITE it that way. They are the words which got uncovered in my mentoring session yesterday, that have now become a way to remind me of my purpose and to be write here - write now. It is certain now that I am a writer and a storyteller, yet I have let those shoes sit gathering dust, in some far off closet, for way to long, while becoming busy attending to the illusion of who I thought I was, and what I thought I needed to do. Which in so many ways became about the dreams of others, and their needs, and now I am ready to let go of what is distracting me from my heart's desire. In the past I simply forgot to be present with who I am, but now I am remembering to be write here - write now.
So this morning, as I came into my "Creativity Garden" I decided to try something new. Instead of sitting down to write in my journal I opened up my computer to a blank page, the words "Being Held" appeared on my desk, another note I had written down from yesterday. After a few moments of "trying" to write, I began typing with my eyes closed about being held, and feeling into the journey of writing that wants to flow though me. And like in this moment, typing here, I felt called to S L O W down, to connect with the in and out of my breath and to feel the pulse of my heart from deep within. As I let go and dropped into the darkness and feeling myself being breathed by something greater than myself, I felt guided to go over to where piles of papers got scattered all over the floor in a "Paper Throwing Party on Wednesday. A process that has become a fun way of digging through all the years of inspiration to truly discovering glimmering specks of my heart shinning through and allowing my writing to emerge from there.
To go back a little, when I began to ask the quest-ion around my writing for children, while watching the sunrise from my backyard this morning, there was a certain asking around, what I am to write about next? And then there I was, closing my eyes in this space of papers everywhere, letting myself just step on them in a soft gentle way, somewhat like a dance of just being there, allowing myself to find whatever treasure might create the inspiration to see what to write about. Then I felt called to STOP and let whatever papers I was standing on in that moment, be the ones to get picked up, uncovered and dug into further. A stack of notebook pages, that I had previously paper clipped together, I felt their weight and thickness, as I went back to my computer without reading any of the details of their content.
From this inner space I open my eyes to discover the writing on the first page and begin to type, page after page after page of the notes and writing inspiration that just magically happened to be all about children's stories. Laughing with gratitude for this discovery, i spent the next couple of hours seeing my next steps being mapped out in front of me. So while in the past I let my fears and false beliefs take me away from my writing, now I am seeing past the illusions and feeling seen and seeing who I truly am write here - write now. In the past I did not take the voice from within seriously enough to show up consistently to the blank page to write, but now I am ready to hear and respond to the voice from within and be write here - write now.
Happy AweLOveHA Friday
In this moment I am learning to listen to my heart once more and beginning to really notice what is or what isn't supporting that opening and expansion. Sometimes it is my own thoughts contracting me, sometimes it is the thoughts of others in my head or in my dreams...hahaha. In any case , the awareness of where I am in expansion and where I am in contraction is what I am looking at, not necessarily where it came from. When I am the vibration of feeling myself opening and expanding, creating the habit of happiness, with gratitude and the expectation for that continued expansion, I can see I am being held by what I really truly desire, from deep inside my heart, not from the more outer focus of my head. I have found that it becomes about trusting what I don't know, in order to really open up to my heart - to hear what is softly being whispered, the song being sung, in between the notes. As I let go more of what I think I know, and/or of who I think I need to be, I find who I already am waiting patiently ready to play, laugh, sing and dance with joyFULL magic.
This morning for example, I woke up musing about being write here - write now, and yes I meant to WRITE it that way. They are the words which got uncovered in my mentoring session yesterday, that have now become a way to remind me of my purpose and to be write here - write now. It is certain now that I am a writer and a storyteller, yet I have let those shoes sit gathering dust, in some far off closet, for way to long, while becoming busy attending to the illusion of who I thought I was, and what I thought I needed to do. Which in so many ways became about the dreams of others, and their needs, and now I am ready to let go of what is distracting me from my heart's desire. In the past I simply forgot to be present with who I am, but now I am remembering to be write here - write now.
So this morning, as I came into my "Creativity Garden" I decided to try something new. Instead of sitting down to write in my journal I opened up my computer to a blank page, the words "Being Held" appeared on my desk, another note I had written down from yesterday. After a few moments of "trying" to write, I began typing with my eyes closed about being held, and feeling into the journey of writing that wants to flow though me. And like in this moment, typing here, I felt called to S L O W down, to connect with the in and out of my breath and to feel the pulse of my heart from deep within. As I let go and dropped into the darkness and feeling myself being breathed by something greater than myself, I felt guided to go over to where piles of papers got scattered all over the floor in a "Paper Throwing Party on Wednesday. A process that has become a fun way of digging through all the years of inspiration to truly discovering glimmering specks of my heart shinning through and allowing my writing to emerge from there.
To go back a little, when I began to ask the quest-ion around my writing for children, while watching the sunrise from my backyard this morning, there was a certain asking around, what I am to write about next? And then there I was, closing my eyes in this space of papers everywhere, letting myself just step on them in a soft gentle way, somewhat like a dance of just being there, allowing myself to find whatever treasure might create the inspiration to see what to write about. Then I felt called to STOP and let whatever papers I was standing on in that moment, be the ones to get picked up, uncovered and dug into further. A stack of notebook pages, that I had previously paper clipped together, I felt their weight and thickness, as I went back to my computer without reading any of the details of their content.
From this inner space I open my eyes to discover the writing on the first page and begin to type, page after page after page of the notes and writing inspiration that just magically happened to be all about children's stories. Laughing with gratitude for this discovery, i spent the next couple of hours seeing my next steps being mapped out in front of me. So while in the past I let my fears and false beliefs take me away from my writing, now I am seeing past the illusions and feeling seen and seeing who I truly am write here - write now. In the past I did not take the voice from within seriously enough to show up consistently to the blank page to write, but now I am ready to hear and respond to the voice from within and be write here - write now.
Happy AweLOveHA Friday